Fantasy/Ideal Person

Many anorexics have a fantasy/ideal person.  This person always loves them, accepts them, sees how wonderful they are, praises them and best of all, doesn't ask anything from them.  For some it's a neighbor, another person's spouse, a clerk, a spiritual person or an old boyfriend or girlfriend they wish they married.

For others it's a sexual fantasy or a pornographic fantasy of being insatiably desired sexually.  Most anorexics have a fantasy or ideal person that they are in some relationship with emotionally.

This fantasy keeps them company and lets them know how their spouse doesn't measure up because all real people have flaws.  This fantasy person can keep you in regret or resentment that you married the person you did.  Fantasy can also keep you on the lookout for another person who would be different or more kind than your spouse is to you.  I think you get the idea;  it keeps you distant from your spouse.  The following is a thank you and goodbye letter to my personal fantasy person.


This will be a difficult letter for me to write, because your embodiment is seen everywhere.  I thought of you when that avatar lured me back to her farm for some sexual role playing.  I thought of you when the babe in the little black bikini thanked me for returning her stray Frisbee at Winnipeg Beach.  I even thought of you when I locked gazes with that chick on Portage Ave.

Fortunately, I only get to glimpse you once on most occasions, such as seeing a beautiful face in a passing vehicle.  That's not to say I haven't had fleeting thoughts of you when I've been around women I see regularly.  The good thing is I have never received any indication from these women that my fantasies are anywhere close to reality.

Another reason it will be hard to say goodbye is that I enjoy seeing you, especially when you are with me in the flesh.  Of course, by that I mean my wife.  It was glimpses of you that drew me to her in the first place.  The blind adoration, the willingness to please me in ways I thought only you could please me, and of course her teenage form.  For that attraction I am eternally grateful.  However, I must say that I never hoped to see you again after the day of my wedding.  That was the day I was to trade our "open" relationship for a monogamous relationship with the love of my life, and I have to say that I thought I had a steal of a deal during the honeymoon!  Then, of course, the honeymoon ended and the doubts began to set in.

Although the honeymoon had to end, my complete enfatuation did not have to.  I don't do myself or my wife any favors by thinking of you, so I must bid you adieu.  I believe that with you out of the picture, I will better appreciate the wife that I chose to marry.

Of course, it's one thing to appreciate a woman, but to show her that you appreciate her is another.  This skill was unecessary in our relationship, but I've come to see it as an essential skill in real-life relationships.  Another thing I've realized is that anything worth having in this life is going to take work.  There are no free rides, and the kind of relationship that I desire is only possible through sacrifice.  Success in any area of life requires sacrifice.  The "right" woman does not guarantee a fulfilling relationship any more than applying for a high paying job guarantees financial success.  You still have to do the work!  Divorce courts are full of men who thought they had found "the one" until they discovered that the amount of sacrifice they were comfortable with was not enough to keep their relationship intact.  I know I'm on a bit of a tangent here, but I must say that the percentage of those men who call themselves Christians baffles me! 

I've always know that divorce is wrong, so the very idea of entertaining thoughts of you is absurd.  Staying true to my wife means so much more than staying legally married.  My goal in my marriage should be to love my wife like Christ loves the church, and I can assure you that Christ has no "fantasy" bride!  After all, it was for the church he gave his very life.  Giving up an "ideal" woman is nothing in comparison.

In conclusion, God has provided me with a "suitable helpmate."  Anyone else who enters my mind or crosses my path must be immediately dismissed.  Goodbye.